A certain toddler that I’ve written before has this annoying/infuriating habit when he’s really tired of flip-flopping. An example of this would be:
R: I want to sleep in your room tonight daddy.
Me: Okay, grab bunny, let’s go.
R: NO! I want to sleep in my bed! (temper tantrum)
Me: Fine, sleep in your bed, that’s okay too.
R: NO! I want to sleep in your room!
And on, and on, and on. He’ll seriously sit there arguing/flip-flopping for hours if you’ll let him, and it drives me nuts. It’s like he’s desperately trying to pick a fight with you.
He only does it when he’s over-tired, and I still have yet to find a solution to it. It always ends up being a good cop/bad cop, where I’ve completely lost my temper, and I’m yelling at him, and Rae comes in and settles him down. I’d love to be able to just resolve it by myself though.
Is this a uniquely Reilly thing, or can any of the other parents who read my blog provide some insight/advice?
4 Comments
I can’t get past this one — or ones very much like it — either. Kimberly tells me that logical reasoning with a tired little boy is a waste of time for all parties involved. As usual, she is right.
I have had (limited) success with the “I refuse to argue/fight/discuss this with you” strategy put forward by some childhood development types. I just walk away and say “Fine, I don’t care. I’m done talking about this.” A huge fit follows. Once the screaming/sobbing slows down a little, I sometimes get a decision. Other times, nothing.
Like your home, Mom usually intervenes. As much as I want to solve this on my own, it is often easiest if Kimberly solves it. I’m hoping for / betting on years of “logical” back and forth to come. Expecting it from a 4 year old is perhaps a little much to ask.
S
Explain the options to him, then let him decide. If he throws a tantrum, let him. Eventually, he’ll stop.
If he really is trying to “pick a fight”, don’t give him one by yelling or getting upset.
Just explain, and let him take responsibility for making the choice.
Thanks guys.
@Kim Rational’s not working. When I explain the options, I’m just met with silence. You’re both right though, no point escalating it, I’ll let him pick and then just walk away and let him have his tantrum.
It will work once he realizes you’re not going to decide for him. Trust me. I have a 9yo, 7yo and 2.5yo. Their tantrums have never lasted more than a few seconds. Oh, and one of them is a boy.