One year ago today…

I was reading back through an old journal today, and I came upon a post that was dated December 4th, 2006. That’s pretty cool, as I wasn’t journalling all that often last year; mostly only in response to extreme frustration. Sure enough, the entry reflected an entirely different mindset from what I’m experiencing today.

I’ve tossed the idea back and forth in my head, and I’m going to re-post the entry here. See, one of the things I hated most about where I worked was that I wasn’t free to discuss my feelings online. Certain people read my blog on a somewhat regular basis, and after having had a couple of “talking tos”, I just stopped blogging about anything that wasn’t either completely unrelated to work, or things that weren’t completely happy and cheery. Today, that’s different, so I’m going to post what I was aching to write about one year ago (I’ve knocked out some names, just because there’s no point being specific about it all now).

Man, I’m almost at breaking point these days. Something is going to happen career-wise — it has to. There is no way I’ll ever work for —.

Job interview at — the day after tomorrow. I’m not overly enthusiastic because I’m reasonably certain that they’re just looking for a help desk/desktop support person. I’d be willing to bet that they won’t come close to a Calgary salary anyways.

I just keep thinking that I need to simplify life. I really have no time to myself/for the kids. Mayne Island is unbelievably appealing. I just need to secure a steady income to make it happen. I’ve got the machine bit figured out — there should be a contract in the pipe to take care of that {note: the only computer I had access to was owned by the U. It’s hard to go freelance if you don’t have a computer to work on.}

I just keep imagining waking up on the ocean, spending time outdoors with Reilly & Parker in the morning and then working out of the house the rest of the day. Milder climate, simpler life, time to work on Brainfile and other projects. Time with the kids at their best, and far less financial trouble.

That, and I’ve still got a great deal of resentment towards the U. I feel vastly underpaid and under-appreciated. It frustrates me having to go there, and I’ve dreamt of handing in my resignation for so long.

The best course is patience. The new year is the best time, there’s just some charm in doing it before the whole — ——– bit plays out. —— is responsible for a lot of my resentment - he’s lied to me too many times. It’s completely apparent to me that he’s only interested in himself.